the blog about doing one less thing
I’ve been a little quiet on my blog the last two weeks…hello again! I was in Europe celebrating my brother's wedding, visiting family, creating hilarious, sweet and lasting memories with my husband and son and enjoying good food and good fun with old friends. As I was getting ready to leave I kept saying to myself “don’t forget [insert variety of getting ready to leave the country for 2 weeks with a toddler tasks plus preparing your manager and team for being offline activities]!”
One item on that ever-increasing list was writing this very blog and publishing it before I left. Which clearly I didn’t do. However, the topic of the blog lends itself specifically to WHY I didn’t write and publish it before I left. Today’s topic? Doing one less thing. (Note: I kept going back and forth between “fewer” and “less” and while grammatically fewer is correct, less honestly sounds better.)
The night before I was preparing to leave for this time away, I was mapping out my final day to the hour…ok flight is at 7:30 p.m. get to the airport by 5:00 p.m., that means leaving by 4:30 p.m., which means loading the car at 3:30 p.m. which means bags need to be packed by 3:00 p.m. which means….so on and so on…all the way until 5:00 a.m.
I have this tendency to do “just one more thing” which, while it makes me extremely productive, also overwhelms me and often makes me late. Quite literally, late: late to meetings, appointments, workouts, going to bed etc. because I’m always trying to squeeze one additional task into the time that I think that I have. The challenge is that I CONTINUALLY underestimate the amount of time it will take to complete the task(s) at hand.
Got 20 mins before a meeting? Great! That means I can make lunch from scratch, respond to 3 emails, flip the laundry, open up the new delivery box that got dropped off, unload the dishwasher and dry-run my presentation for said meeting–right?! NO. At most I get half of my lunch-makings out on the counter, part of an email drafted, and do a a 30 second run-through of my talking points in my head and I might still be late for the meeting…yikes.
Over time, I have gotten better though. I’ve learned to build buffers into my day. Set a reminder to eat lunch! I’ve learned to be a little more realistic: 13 back-to-back meetings might make it difficult to concentrate. Perhaps have a break after 7. And yet, every now and then the eternal optimist/overproducer in me shows up and makes me believe I can DO IT ALL in the time I have.
Back to my day-before-the trip prep. One of the things I had wanted to do before I was leaving was take a Pilates class. I’ve recently started Pilates and I am HOOKED! I love it. I could take a class everyday if I had the time (which I somehow think I do, but actually don’t). Since I knew I’d be gone for two weeks and unable to take any classes, I wanted to squeeze one final workout in on the day I was leaving, especially before sitting in an economy seat for eleven hours while flying across the Atlantic.
I kept arranging and re-arraging my day in my head trying to make it work, but unless I woke up at 4:00 a.m. I just couldn’t do it. And this is when I realized, I CAN’T do it. I can’t be well rested, AND complete all of my work, AND pack the bags, AND clean up the house AND be ready on time to MOST IMPORTANTLY be on time to catch my flight. It was just not possible.
So, begrudgingly, I decided not to take the Pilates class. I felt lazy, like a quitter, a wimp. But I told myself, this is ultimately the right decision. To do less. One less thing to allow for the other things to get done correctly, on time and without frenzy and stress.
How many times in life do we try to maximize every minute only to get ahead at the sacrifice of our serenity? What’s the point of getting it all done if we’re so stressed getting there that we can’t even enjoy it?
While I was away, I was struck by how present I was able to be. I didn’t text a lot of people- most of the people I text with were with me or knew I was out of the country. I didn’t check work email or slack (something I’m very grateful my organization allows for and honors!)I didn’t need a calendar to keep all of my meetings and appointments organized because I just was there, going with the flow, being with my family. It was glorious.
As I mentioned, I also decided not to write a blog about it until I returned. I wanted to be fully unplugged while I was gone, and much as I would love to believe you are all clamoring for my (semi) weeekly blog drops, my guess is that little to no one noticed that I didn’t post ;-)
There are times in our lives that are busy and hectic and we need to be ultra-productive, and I’m not saying every moment can be like vacation, which is a manufactured time of relaxation and an intentional alternative to our day-to-day. However, not every minute has to be pushed to the limit of productivity. And in fact, if we open up a little more space, it will give us room to breathe life into all the other parts of ourselves.
So my tiny action for you today is to:
Take a look at your calendar for tomorrow, this week, this month.
Find ONE THING you can cancel, postpone or decline.
Then…cancel, postpone or decline it!
Then…DO NOT BOOK OVER THAT TIME. Just let it be open. Let it be for you. Be present. See how you feel!
Repeat this as much as you need to find the right amount of space for you.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out what you can remove, when it all feels critical and important, ask yourself:
What’s the worst-case scenario if I wait 48 hours?
Is there someone else who could move this forward?
What would happen if I didn’t do this at all?
So rarely do I pause to ask myself those questions, to reflect on what would ACTUALLY HAPPEN if I say no. In a world of “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out) - it can be hard at first, but overtime you’ll build the muscle of prioritizing for yourself first rather than others.
