the blog about acknowledging receipt

If you’re anything like me…you have TOO. MANY. MESSAGES. Personal, professional, administrative, doesn’t matter. You’ve simply got a lot of people, groups, projects that need your time and attention.

If you’re anything like me… you’re also the culprit for SENDING TOO. MANY. MESSAGES and creating that need for other people to respond to YOU.  

If you’re anything like me…you miss things. You’re getting so many communications that really require your thought and focus sooooo you skim it, leave it unread in your inbox to “come back to later” then stress all day about remembering to come back to it and/or for the next several days trying to find the time to respond and inevitably too many more days/hours/minutes go by than you ever intended to.

Same goes for slack/teams/texts…whatever kind of messaging platform, the principles still apply. I need to respond, but I need to respond thoughtfully, or I need to check on something before I respond so I make a “mental note” to come back to it…and sure enough, don’t always come back to it. 

I care deeply about creating relationships grounded in trust. I strive to be a woman of integrity, a woman of my word. That includes my written correspondence. I want to be reliable and dependable. I don’t want to be the “oh she never responds to anything” person. I fear dropping the proverbial “glass ball” because I’ve got so many rubber balls that are bouncing already. I’ll be in the middle of something (a meeting, a shower, sleeping, dinner, a pilates class) and suddenly the thought strikes “oh no! I didn’t respond to that person…ah! It’s been a week now, what do I do?” 

Well, what I’ve found of late to be incredibly helpful throughout my life, but have been using it with much more frequency is the simple “acknowledging receipt” message.  It goes something like this

“Thank you for your email/slack/text. I’m acknowledging receipt of your message and will respond by [insert date/time]” 

Whew! The relief I feel when I send that. It is: 

a) polite and let’s people know I’m aware of their communication which hopefully gives THEM some kind of relief

b) I get to set the terms for when I’m responding. I don’t need to be beholden to someone else’s timeline

c) It gives me and them a clear timeline in which I will follow up.

d) it let’s me respond rather than react! 

To the last point, not only has this helped my peace of mind, it’s also helped me work my strategic thinking muscle.

Too often when I respond quickly, I can REACT rather than RESPOND.  Reacting is an automatic, (often emotional) action triggered by a stimulus. It’s fast, instinctive and less thoughtful. Responding is a deliberate, thoughtful reply or action based on awareness. It’s slower, intentional, and measured. 

React = impulse vs. Respond = intention. 

It’s a simple but powerful act: communicating. Yes, I hear you, I acknowledge your message, and you can count on me to follow through.

Now sometimes the time comes in my timeline and I still don’t have a response. What do I do? Enter my next favorite “trick” - the no-update update. 

Have you ever been stuck on a plane and the pilot gives you NO status reports?! The unknowing is so infuriating and makes the whole delay so much worse even if it’s only a short time. Contrast that with the pilot who keeps you updated every 10-15 minutes. Even if it the “hey folks, sorry we are still working on X and I don't’ have a time we will be done but I’ll check back in in 10-15 mins” (and then checks in!) Even if it’s a 4 hour delay, while it’s not fun, it is way less painful because there is trust. You trust the pilot is doing their job and you trust they will follow up because they show you with their actions that they do/will.

I take a page of of the second pilot’s book and say something like this “Thank you for your patience in my response. As noted in my previous message, I was hoping to send you a response by X time. I do not yet have all of the details I need to provide the best recommendation but am actively working on this. I will follow up by Y date/time with an update” 

That update might be another no-update update and that’s ok! What’s important is you respect the people you’re communicating with by honoring your word, you’re building trust that they can count on you and you’re doing the same for yourself. 

So my tiny action for you today: try it! The next message you get, if you can’t thoughtfully respond in less than 5 mins, send then a version of the “acknowledging receipt” message and then follow up with them when the time's right. If the time is not right? You guessed it! The no update-update.

I’ll be back next week with more little things… but I’d love to hear from you! How did it feel sending that message? What did you notice? How did people respond?