the blog about what to do once you’ve found a mentor- part 3
Ok here we are at Step 3, but now I realize there are several more steps I could write just about mentorship. Before we get into that, we need to, (yet again) address the gap in time from my last post and what you can expect going forward.
It is another random Sunday night this time, it’s 10:01 p.m. and I have felt reinvigorated to write. Interestingly enough it was because of a woman who I would love to become a mentor of mine, we’ll call her “Jackie”, (who I met 1:1 over Google Meet last week, after attending an incredible virtual keynote and workshop she led), that I felt compelled to start this blog again. So now, I’m committing here to you, my reader, for the rest of this year, to post once per week on Wednesdays. You can find the link on my LinkedIn every time.
To close this initial 3-part series about mentorship,specifically “finding a mentor” we’ll focus on what to do after you’ve had your first 30 min meeting with the mentor you wanted to connect with. I will use some of the original Google docs preserved content from step 3 that I wrote years ago but have added some details from this new * hopeful to be * mentor of mine, Jackie.
Note: I eat my own cooking ;-) meaning, I followed these steps with Jackie just last week, as I can’t very well write a blog and not follow my own advice…now can I?!
step 3- FOLLOW UP!
What is the final step in finding a mentor? Follow-up! I cannot tell you how many times this small action has served me and has built long-lasting mentorship relationships.
What does it mean to follow-up?
Let’s take a step back at all the work you’ve put in to prep and engage in your first meeting with your potential mentor:
You did your homework and researched your mentor
You showed them you did your homework on them…and leveraged your time together to ask thoughtful questions.
You organized your thoughts and started the conversation asking your most pivotal question first.
You took notes! Lots and lots of notes…
Eek…Now what…?
Ok, so you leave the meeting with a bunch of notes and perhaps too much caffeine intake for the day from your coffee date with them. You’re jazzed and inspired and excited by all of the tips they gave you, the folks they recommend for you to research that they would be happy to make an introduction to on your behalf. (Note: I wrote this almost 3 years ago and this exact situation happened to me with my convo with Jackie just two days ago!) You finish up your workday, go the gym, make dinner, chat with a friend, watch a show, take a shower, get ready for bed and…SEND A FOLLOW UP NOTE BEFORE YOU FALL ASLEEP! (Or at least within 24 hours of the meeting…)
Why though? Don’t they get enough emails? Why does a thank you email from me matter?
Most likely the mentor you met with is a senior leader, a business owner, a parent (not yours lol but a parent to someone else), a spiritual guide or a “solopreneur” who took 30 mins (plus commute time if it was in-person) to meet with you. They were generous enough to share their perspective as well as offer real-life connections to you. The least you can do is spend 15-30 mins before to say thank you.
Why? TRUST. By spending the time to thank them, it shows them on a fundamental human level that they can trust you. You are someone who follows though, who is reliable and communicative. Someone that they would want to mentor, support and help to open doors for.
What do you say in the follow up? This is where you rely on your notes!
Thank them for their time- always start with the acknowledgement of the time spent with you.
If they recommend books, check them out from the library or add them to your online bookstore cart, let them know that you did this.
Take them up on their offers! If they said “I think it would be great for you to meet Ms. ABC” then look Ms. ABC up, see if she is someone you want to meet with and if you do, tell them you’d love to meet her and would welcome and introduction.
*Bonus* share something personal that really inspired you/moved you from your conversation, they are human just like you and want to know that people are listening and care about what they have to say.
Thank them again and let them know what your next steps are from here, and then…take action on those steps!
It seems obvious, as most of “little things” that I share on this blog are. These are not necessarily groundbreaking ideas, but what sets you apart and what I hope to focus on is the outsized impact that these tiny actions have.
Don’t believe me? Let’s look at what happens if you *gulp* don’t follow up…
My original mentor who I started this mentorship series about (I named her “Susan” in my “mentorship step 1” blog post) seemed like the perfect fit for a friend of mine who was feeling stuck in her career and needed direction, advice and above all, a mentor! She asked if I would be willing to make an introduction to Susan and I said of course. I knew how helpful Susan had been (and continues to be to this day!) and was excited to connect the two of them.
Please see the email correspondence below (with names and some slight adjustments for anonymity):
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Hi Susan and Willow,
I wanted to introduce you both to each other as there may be an opportunity for connection and perhaps professional collaboration.
Susan- Willow is a good friend of mine who is a chef and is looking to expand her network and professional options.
Willow- Susan is my mentor and dear friend who founded, The Amazing Delicious Food Company, Inc. and is an amazing professional and personal inspiration!
I’ll let you both take it from here but wanted to start the conversation!
Best,
Brianna
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(Note: Willow responded 2.5 days after I sent the original email…not great turnaround time)
Hi Susan and Brianna,
Brianna- thank you so much for the introduction!
Susan, so nice to meet you! Brianna was telling me a bit about your professional background and your company and it sounded so in line with what I am passionate about.
I recently graduated with my Masters in the Culinary Arts last year and became a certified chef early this year, yet I am currently working part-time as a line-cook at a local restaurant.
I have been wanting to meet more like-minded people in the food and hospitality, particularly ones who are passionate about holistic food experiences and the importance of sourcing local foods for sustainability.
I am sure you are very busy but I would love to set up a time to connect and learn more about your career.
Please let me know if you are available to jump on a call or grab a quick coffee.
Thanks,
Willow
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(Note: Susan responded less than 24 hours after Willow emailed her- great turaround time, and SHE’S the requested mentor!)
Willow, hello – I was so delighted to get your message. (Thanks, Brianna, for the intro, and I am moving you to bcc.) Congrats on getting the Culinary Arts degrees.
We indeed share similar passions about food and hospitality, especially the role that sustainability plays. I’d love to compare notes! It looks like you are living in a city about 15 mins from me. If that is the case let’s aim for coffee or lunch the week of May 15th. I’ll suggest the Delightful Little Cafe which is halfway between us. Some possible times are below: [then she listed 3 different dates and times with 3-4 hour windows].
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And then…NOTHING HAPPENED! Willow didn’t follow up, didn’t respond, didn’t schedule the meeting. Just silence. Susan reached out to me to ask if everything was ok as she was surprised she didn’t hear anything. I followed up with Willow and she told me she got busy and would follow up. She didn’t and still has not to this day (this was almost 3 years ago now.)
So what? Well, we will never know! We won’t know if these two could’ve gone into business together, or Susan could’ve made the introduction of a lifetime, or if it would have just been a nice coffee and that’s that. We don’t and cannot know. But, what I do know is that the small gesture of reaching out and having coffee, especially when you’ve requested it, could have outsized impacts in ways you’d never expect nor be able to plan for.
Now I’m not here to put Willow on blast. Believe me, there have been plenty of mistakes that I’ve made throughout the years, with people I didn’t follow up with, or was inconsistent with, rescheduled too many times or didn’t share the whole truth with and so on…(that’s a lot of great content for future blogs so you’ll just have to come back for more content.) I’m here to share her story as a foil for my own in many ways, and maybe it will resonate with some of you, so we can all learn from these mistakes.
What I can tell you is that over the years, if someone is going out of their way for me, just because, then the least I can do is the little thing, and follow-up! If I’ve recognized this isn’t a fit, we don’t need to continue the relationship but I can still thank you for the time you’ve spent with me (I’ll write a blog about breaking up with a mentor too- a painful but necessary experience). You never know if, when, and how your lives will intertwine and a little following up and following through goes a long way.
To recap:
Follow UP…within 24 hours!
Follow THROUGH on what you say you’re going to (i.e. get the book, send the email, respond to the introduction)
Follow UP on what it is you said you were going to do (let your new mentor know that you are taking their advice to heart and taking action!)
In closing, your little action for today: FOLLOW UP AND FOLLOW THROUGH on something, anything! Maybe you' forgot to text your friend from last week, who wants to get lunch, respond! Maybe you meant to surprise your partner with a little gift- go order it! Maybe you forgot your employees work-anniversary- follow up now even if you’re late! These little actions of following through will be a small brick in the building of the trust between you and another human being.
Next blog will take a detour from mentorship specifically…but we will come back to this topic again this year. Thank you dear reader for your patience and I look forward to sharing my next “little thing” blog next Wednesday!
